TOPSurgeryAtLast

I received a phone call from the surgeon's office on June 12th. They said that they had an opening for me on July 6th, 2018. I was dumbfounded!  Not February 2019, but right after the 4th of July!  Exactly 2 months and 6 days before I would turn 60 years of age. The catch was that I may not be able to get insurance approval in time; insurance companies usually required 6 weeks, and I had less than 3 till the date. I rushed to get all the paperwork in order, got my pre-op tests, got my disability paper work filed, notified my employer.  It was a whirlwind and I was in motion - thrilled at the possibility that my long held dream would come true. I decided to NOT consider that the approval would not come in time - I held a strong intention for all to work out - it was meant to be. I began to look at myself in the mirror to actually imagine what I would look like. I allowed myself to belief that it would happen, and began to plan for the future. The letter of approval ...

On April 30th, 2018 my wife and I arrived at the office of Brownstein and Crane in Millbrae, CA. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect.  It was super cool to see other TG people who had already undergone surgery and were returning for  follow up appointments. I had been taking T for about 1 month and hadn't really noticed much.  I had also been on the Whole 30 Diet plan - felt great and had lost some fat.  Felt good about how I might look after my chest was transformed. We spoke for the longest time with Debbie, the PA. Many of you may know that surgeons often have PA(physician's assistants) surgical assistants in the OR and they can see patients in the office both pre-op and post-op. She explained how the surgery would go. That it was an ambulatory procedure, meaning that I would arrive, have the procedure and go home on the same day.  This surprised me a little bit, but honestly I was glad to be able to go home.  She said that I would feel mo...

They called to schedule my consultation! OMG I was so excited. One month to the day after seeing my gender-care specialist Dr. G on March 30th, I would be discussing the specifics of my TOPSurgery with the surgeon who would perform the procedure, Dr. S, on April 30th. I felt reinvigorated and hopeful although I had prepared myself to hear that the waiting period between the consult and the actual surgery may be significant. At least this was the foot in the door and it helped me to believe that it would actually happen. I finally allowed myself to look in the mirror and actually imagine what I would really look like with a "male chest configuration". I tried on my clothes, men's shirts really, that didn't currently fit over my breasts and wondered which ones I would be able to wear proudly after the surgery. I want to be clear that this was not vanity; it is about finally looking into the mirror and seeing the outward appearance that matches my inner perception of...

While awaiting my consult with the plastic surgeon who would perform my TOPSurgery, my gender-care specialist Dr. G suggested several options to help me feel more like myself, and become more aligned with the gender that I felt internally. I was open to hearing why Dr. G felt that taking testosterone injections or "T", would help me feel better. My wife feared that I would become louder, more aggressive, and lose my feminine qualities that she found appealing, and  were missing from past relationships with men. She really didn't want me to be, well, more like a dude. Looking back with a more educated eye, I realized that the depression that I had been struggling with was really present on and off since I was a child. I could now admit that although I prided myself with coping with my sexual preference, and the appearance that I felt accompanied that, I really was sincerely unhappy with the physical and political implications of being sexually a female. Dr. G assured my ...

When my gender-care specialist told me that the wait for my surgery date could easily be 18 months, I was crushed and defeated. In her office, I forced myself to recover quickly.  Dr. G then explained some options that I might consider while I wait.  First was binding to  reduce the prominence of the breasts. This entails wearing an Ace wrap or a garment designed to compress (squish) the breasts  to make them as small and unnoticeable as is possible. It is very uncomfortable to say the least. I already did this with sports bras, which were restricting enough.  I had tried several different types of binders only to find that they were way too uncomfortable or gave me pretty much the same results as my sports bras did.  Next option was packing which Wikipedia defines as " wearing padding or a phallic object in the front of the pants or underwear to give the appearance of having a penis". I believe that this may be important for some Trans-guy s who want...

My appointment with my gender-care specialist, Dr. G, was set. I was sooooo excited and had so much anticipation. Again accompanied by my wife, I awaited the unknown.  In walked Dr. G, who in both my and my wife's opinions, is one of the most knowledgeable, kind, compassionate, caring and low key health care providers that either of us have met. She (her preferred pronoun) explained the process and more importantly the availability for TOPSurgery options.  She showed me the website of a plastic surgery practice in the San Francisco area, and spoke about the confidence she had in their results. The pictures were awesome.  The results amazing in my mind. Then the lights went out - she told me that the wait to get into the queue was about a year and a half.  I nearly crumbled.  I cried.  I was instantly depressed and deflated. She understood. She explained that now, with so many TG folks coming forward combined with the availability of insurance to cover the ...