Non-gender-binary
Last post I talked about the sex binary, Male or Female (M/F) and the gender binary Cis or Trans. During the past 2 decades, when transgender issues came more into public awareness, the case remained that one either identified with the gender that was apparent at birth (Cisgender), or one identified as the opposite gender (Transgender).
During the past decade however, the notion of non-gender-binary has come to the fore; that is, not all of us identify as either M or F gender (regardless of sex at birth) and still others move along the continuum as it suits, the so-called gender-fluid. I have to say that until my recent TOPSurgery on 7/6/18, I struggled most every single day deciding how to show up in the world. What should I wear, what could I get away with wearing? How would I be received at work, speaking at a conference, or at a high level meeting, especially with mostly men.
I know that most professionals dress for success, and tailor their choices by what is happening that day. But this was more like costuming - wearing drag - not because I wanted to, but because either I felt that I had to for gender conformance, or for acceptance. I had learned the hard way that many small-minded individuals did not take well to people who did not conform to their ideas of normal or correct. It has made my life difficult for most of it, starting with my own family.
But now, much to my surprise, I no longer feel the need to over-compensate. I really wasn't aware that I was doing it. It's like the relieve one might feel when a radio station with a bunch of static
is finally shut off. It was definitely a continuous undercurrent through most of my life. No more! I feel that my body, the visible parts of it, are just as they should be. Well, I still need to shed some pounds..........
During the past decade however, the notion of non-gender-binary has come to the fore; that is, not all of us identify as either M or F gender (regardless of sex at birth) and still others move along the continuum as it suits, the so-called gender-fluid. I have to say that until my recent TOPSurgery on 7/6/18, I struggled most every single day deciding how to show up in the world. What should I wear, what could I get away with wearing? How would I be received at work, speaking at a conference, or at a high level meeting, especially with mostly men.
I know that most professionals dress for success, and tailor their choices by what is happening that day. But this was more like costuming - wearing drag - not because I wanted to, but because either I felt that I had to for gender conformance, or for acceptance. I had learned the hard way that many small-minded individuals did not take well to people who did not conform to their ideas of normal or correct. It has made my life difficult for most of it, starting with my own family.
But now, much to my surprise, I no longer feel the need to over-compensate. I really wasn't aware that I was doing it. It's like the relieve one might feel when a radio station with a bunch of static
is finally shut off. It was definitely a continuous undercurrent through most of my life. No more! I feel that my body, the visible parts of it, are just as they should be. Well, I still need to shed some pounds..........
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